FOR THE GIRL WHO REJECTED ME

FOR THE GIRL WHO REJECTED ME

I know you are not fluent in Malayalam, neither am I fluent in in Hindi. So I am writing this in English for YOU. It’s only a matter of five minutes. It’s about YOU. 

I proposed YOU one day. I still remember how stressful it was for me, the moments mixed with anxiety, fear and guilt, whether it was the right way to do so. I was confident that it was the right thing for me to do, but was stressed by the way I have done it and the sleepless day and night before getting a reply.

All YOU could do was to shout at me in front of so many. I cried not because of the embarrassment but of the un-approvable fact that YOU rejected me. All those years I waited, done all purposeless things in the shade of that moment’s pain. Anyone in this world can easily say that it’s the most foolish thing to do in a person’s life. Many said, Move On. Finally one day I was happy to hear that that YOU married a person of your choice.

After my failed professional graduation studies, I got myself admitted to a B.A.programme and successfully completed it. I also started a new phase in my life with a clerical job in bank. The only thing that concerned me is that whether I got self-purified in the fire of sufferings and pains, due to one wrong decision of life. All I was doing was to whisper frequently, “Yes, I am OK, Move On”.

Another two years passed by. I was sincerely “MOVING ON” with my job far away from home, trying to evade from all thoughts. But one day, I was diagnosed with CANCER.  Even the doctor doesn’t have hope. But my loved ones around me weren’t ready to accept it. They took me to the best and only hopeful hospital in Kerala. Now I am continuing as an OUT-PATIENT there for more than one year. I believe that I will survive. Because like everyone out there, I will be having a destiny and a mission for this life, granted by almighty.

This is not a letter to get sympathy from YOU. It’s an attempt to tell these few things, which I always wished to share, face to face with YOU. But all my attempts to find YOU went in vain. Even your closest friends don’t want to share your communication address. You can always be proud and happy to have such loyal friends. Who knows what happens tomorrow? So I am keeping this letter here only in the hope that, One day if YOU want to know, what it’s all about, YOU find the right thing secured for YOU waiting for your touch to disclose. 

I don’t want your efforts and wishes to go in vain. Always remember, I loved you so much enough to let you go and your wishes were always above mine for me.